JJ's World Views

Tag: Scribbles

  • Suicide Squad

    So, today I went to see Suicide Squad for the first time.  I saw a bunch of reviews on it and wanted to see it for myself.  Let it be known I am not big on comic books, but I love the cartoons and movies.  Now that being said I liked this movie, yes it had its flaws but what movie doesn’t.  The thing that stuck out most to me was the theme behind it.  Whether the studio meant it this way or not, to me it was an allegory on the U.S.’s international policies in the middle east.  I do not go searching for meaning in movies, it is just where my mind goes when I see similarities in life and art.

    Look it how the U.S. has handled the situation in Iraq and Syria. When we went into Iraq  and took down Saddam.  This to me was when Joon found the Enchantress stumbling into a cave without really thinking about it.  Then we have have Waller who is part of the government who puts together a force of people that are pretty shady to say the least.  We fund and train rebels in both Iraq and Syria not knowing who is good or bad, eventually creating ISIS.  This is where the Enchantress breaks free and starts wreaking havoc, just like ISIS in the middle east.  Which had lead us to where we are at today over there.  That is a basic analysis of the theme for me.

    I liked the backstories of the Characters they did them on like Deadshot,Diablo, Harley Quinn and the Joker.  I thought that the bar scene was interesting, a lot of people I saw review the movie thought it was forced.  I thought it was fairly natural considering, I mean what would you do if you just found out that you are fighting a earth destroying witch.  Hell I would head to the bar as well especially being a villain and after being kept in the dark.  I would have probably done the same thing.  Who knows it could be the last time you do that.

    Could they have made a better movie? Yes.  I think if they would have had a couple of Batman movies with the characters in them it would have helped a lot.  The same thing with a Flash movie. This would have provided more context into the characters and more in-depth back story.  I think Warner Bros. jumped the gun and didn’t think thing through enough.  If you’re going to build a universe you start from the ground up.  We do not need the backstory for Batman but more on Deadshot and the Harley and the Joker.  I would like to know what is up with Capt. Boomerang and the pink unicorn.  Diablo seems like he could be a really interesting to me.  The same could be said about Killer Croc.

    This was a decent movie in my opinion.  I give it 6.5 out of 10.

    I know this is not the best written review it is my first one that I have written.  If you have any comments that would make it better please let me know.  If you need clarification let me know. please I will do my best.

     

  • Loneliness is a curse

    Well I am finally going to go see suicide squad today. I have seen the reviews but I have to decide for myself. I am just so bored and cannot focus on homework Mainly because all I do for the most part any more is just work, school, eat  and sleep.  I have no social life to speak of really.

    I have always felt alone in my life not, because I didn’t have friends or family. It is because I feel they just never understood me at all.  I am one of those people who could be in a room filled with people and still just feel like I am the only person in the room.  Over the past 4 or 5 years this feeling has grown.  That is one of the reasons why I started counseling and going back to school.  I wanted to try and put myself out there and find people who have similar interests who may understand where I am coming from and why I want to do what I am trying to do.

    I have such a hard time making new friends to do stuff with.  Here I am 40 years old divorced, single and living in a mobile home older than me,fighting my depression constantly.  It is a never ending battle.  I know people do worry about me in my family, yet it is hard for me to be around them.  The last few times I had been with them it just seem that when they were talking to me they were hyper critical of me and my viewpoints, even though I try to keep it on the internet they bring it into the face to face contacts. So I just do not want to be around them.  I feel like nothing I can do in their eye is right or good enough.  They expect me to see things the way they do and I just can’t.  It is not me I look deeper into things,  I try to understand the way the world works.  This is something I have always done.  It seems to me that all they see in me is a 40 yr old who like Cartoons, horror movies, and is decent with kids.  I feel they think I do not actually look into anything of substance at all.  They prove this by the way they try and push there own morals and beliefs on me.

    Look I am who I am and believe in my own moral code.  I have always been like that.  Religion has had no affect on my moral values.  All I want is to be a good person and help others try to treat others with respect as much as possible, not alway succeeding there.  When I came out as an Atheist for the first time that is when things started going south between me and them.  My mom was like no you’re not you Agnostic.  At the time I got offended because I didn’t know then what I do now about the word and its uses.

    Being an Atheist just means I do not believe there is a god.  Agnosticism is a state of knowing.  So my mom was right to a point, but we are all Agnostics.  No one knows for sure if a god really exists or not, despite what some people may say.  A belief is a feeling not knowledge.  I have tried to believe in a god so that people would except me I have been to so many different churches done research on the matter as well as read the bible from front to back.  There is nothing there to prove the existence of a god for me.  Some people would Probably say that it is your lack of faith that causes my depression and loneliness.  This could not be farther from the truth for me.  It is the fact that my family and old friends that think that I just want to be a rebel, different, and want to mold me to the image they want.  That is what want me to be, that has been a big contributor to my depression.  Me and my mom used to be close or as close as I can get to a person emotionally.

    I had to take a break from writing this post for awhile, because I have been in tears while writing this.  My heart is heavy and I hurt so bad, but I push on.   I expose my heart to all of you out here to let you know if you feel the same way you are not alone.   You can make it through it.  It does not matter if you’re a teen, in your 40’s or in your later years you can push through this.  You are stronger than you think.  I know because I am living it with you.  I feel the pain, the anguish, fear and loneliness the as much as anyone.  Those thoughts in your head can be change but only through practice and hard work.  You just have  you just have to have faith in yourself and find your passion.  Thing do get easier the more you work at it.  It may never go away, but at least it can be more manageable for you in the long run.

    If you know and love someone who has depression take the time to try and understand them.  Let them know they are loved don’t just say it show it.  You will make it easier for them and you may save their life.  Please.

    If you have any questions on ways I have used to manage this leave a comment down below or you can message me on facebook or twitter.  I will try to respond as much as I can.

    I want to leave you all who read this with this,  You are all loved even though it may not feel like it at times you are.  I love you all and stay strong and let peace be with you all.

     

  • Day 4

    Well today was the end of my first week of school.  I had Intro to Cinema and History of World Civilization 2.  After my classes I had a meeting with my TRIO SSS (Student Support Services) advisor.

    In Cinema we were learning about its technical history from the Zoeatrope to George Melies “A Trip to the Moon”.  It was interesting to see how they first attempted to colorize film.  It must have been painstaking painting each frame, even if it was a 13 minute film.  It is remarkable to see how far we have come in such a short period of time ( in the grand scheme of things).  I also started the readings tonight going through the influences of the different countries that had an effect on the industry from the late 19th century to 1947 is where I stopped for the night.  This cover things like the Kinetograph and Kinetoscope developed by William Kennedy Laurie Dickson in Edison’s labs (411 Barsam and Monaham).  Going into the Silent Period (214), The German Expressionists (418) and many more.

    This afternoon I had History in which we watched a video (narrated by the late Leonard Nimoy)and discussed the Black plague, and he answered questions on the syllabus.  The video was something that I had seen before on the History channel so most of the information was not too new to me.  Like I knew they used Bodies of the dead as a form of biological warfare of the time and that doctors of the time were some of the most vulnerable do to the closeness of working with those who had the plague.  What I had missed the first time I had watched the video was the Flagellants ( an extremist Christian sect) that had started to gain traction do to the Catholic Church own ignorance and unwillingness to hear any ideas other than those in the Bible.  I started my reading for this class today as well.  The reading are on some of the creation myths of the world.  I have gone through the Iroquois, which is more of a matriarchal view of the world and the Japanese which from what I read started out quite nice then became very patriarchal.  At least that is how I saw it.  I will be rereading it to get a better understanding of them both.

    After history I went to see my TRIO advisor.  I like going to talk to him we always have interesting conversations.  For those who do not know Trio is an organization that help first generation college students and students with disabilities navigate through college life.  They help you set up your schedules, filling out financial aid forms and help to keep you on track in school.  Some of the most prominent people who have been part of this program through the years (not at Normandale Community college where I go they just started theirs last year) are Oprah Winfrey and Angela Bassett.  This Program has been around since the 60’s and is federally funded.  If you are in college and they have this program check to see if you qualify it is extremely helpful.  Me and James (my advisor) talked about how my classes are going so far, some of my financial aid and a little about this blog.  it was a short meeting but it is the first week and he is swamped with the new semester and people on his team. He did ask me if I “If I thought that I would have any problems with the number of classes or the classes themselves.” I dont really think I will of course while writing this blog my self doubt started creeping up again.  This happened before this time I feel I have the support I need to concur it.  beside I always feel like this until the end of the semester.  By then I have seen where I am at and know what I need to do to get the grades I need and want.  Hell right now I am waiting to get my invitation to Phi Theta Kappa our Honor Society. Over the past 2 semester I earned a 3.53 GPA in my college level courses.  If you add in my remedial courses it is a 3.68 GPA.  So, as long as I keep doing what I am doing I should have another good semester.

    Works Cited

    Barsam, Richard Meran., and Dave Monahan. “10/Film History.” Looking at Movies: An Introduction to Film. 5th ed. New York: W.W. Norton, 2016. 411+. Print.

  • Day 3

    Today was a long at school, this wasn’t because the classes were boring I just had a long break between classes.  The classes were rather interesting today with Freshman Comp.  and Theory and Practice of Tai Chi Chuan.

    In Comp. we watched a Ted Talk on “The Danger of a Single Story”.  What is a single story?  A single story from what I have gathered from the video is a one dimensional look at the world (seeing things from one point of view).  An example of this is the way we see Donald Trump speak about illegal immigration and the people in the middle east.  The issue with a single story is: they have a tendency to breed ignorance, bigotry and hatred in those who are not willing to do research and/ or go out and meet people who are different then them.  At least, that is what I had gotten from the video.  We see people who buy in to the single story trap so much in our society today, it is astonishing to see in this day and age.

    In between classes I had a lively and invigorating discussion in the smoking area about religion, politic and corruption.  This is one of the things I love about college, actual intellectual conversation about tough topics.  I get to practice my conversational skills without the pressure of hurting someone’s feelings or someone just getting up in my face.  I just can not to that with my old friends and family. That is one thing that has stifled my personal growth as a human being.  I am someone who enjoys that type of conversation, because I get to actually exchange ideas with people instead of having them dictated to me.

    Then in Tai Chi it was a basic first day until we started learning the moves.  I am so out of shape.  We first learned a stance, then practiced breathing and lastly how to walk.  Doing the stance was difficult for me because I had a hard time keeping my toe connected to the floor.  The breathing was not too difficult, it is something I have been practicing for a while to keep my stress level down.  The hardest part for me was the walk.  I am a big guy, out of shape and extremely right side dominant.  When I was done with the walk my left inner thigh was killing me.  The muscle had started cramping up on me it felt like a bunch of needles poking in to a single point on my thigh.  I am going to need a lot more practice and push myself to make sure I can do this correctly.

  • Citizen Exchange Program

    The problem has I see it is that we have no real national goals.  When we have actual goal to get behind, we as a people can conquer it.   These have to be the right goals.  The goals should be positive and work for the betterment of the people as a whole. These goals should for the most part be solving issues that we are having in the nation.  I feel these goals should be voted on by the populus of the country.  These votes should take place every 10 years.  At the end if ten years we evaluate the situation to see how we have progressed on the matters.

    What is a Citizen Exchange Program?  This is a program in which citizens of different countries have an opportunity to live and work in another country for a year or two.

    What need does this serve?  In recent times our world has become more divisive than ever with shootings happening on a daily basis it seem like.  This would be a way to for people to explore outside their communities, experience other cultures and ease cultural tension a bit.

     

  • Day 2

    Today was another pretty good day at school.  The only issue I had was the parking, but oh well.  My Intro to Cinema was pretty cool, the professor is laid back and I realized another purpose for it.  This class other than helping me meet my transfer curriculum for school; is also going to be helping me to improve my conversational skills.  This is something I feel I really need.  Especially since I am pretty much a shut in, other than work and school, I don’t really do much other than that.  Whenever, I try to speak to people it always seems to come out wrong. Although, that has been changing over the past year or so.  I am starting to feel more confident in myself slowly.  When I can finally look at myself for more than 10 seconds in a mirror I will say I am confident enough.

    I also had History of World Civilization 2 today.  Once again my professor is a unique individual. The first part of class he told us about himself and then had us all get walk around and introduce each ourselves.  That was fun.

    In both classes I tried to make sure I stood out in class in a good way of course.  I sat in front of the class made sure to ask questions and/ or comment on questions brought up.

    I went to talk to my history professor from last semester Jack just to say “Hi” and ended up bumping into my Interpersonal Communication professor Brad.  I did not even recognize him he had lost so much weight.  He is a pretty cool guy, I liked that class.  Then after he left for lunch I talk to Jack.  He asked me about my course load and the professor I have for World Civ 2.  He said it will be interesting to see how I do being introduced to another teaching style for history.  I have a feeling I will do pretty well, but I do not want to get too over confident.  Then I will make mistakes and big ones.  I know myself all to well.

  • Third Semester day 1

    Today was my first day back to school and man did I miss it.  I only had one class Freshman comp.  The teacher seems pretty cool looks like it will be an interesting class.  Tomorrow I have Intro to Cinema in the morning and History of World Civilization 2 in the afternoon.   Wednesday I have comp again in the morning and in the afternoon I have Theory and Practice of Tai Chi Chuan. Thursday back to Cinema and History again.

    I went to the Experimental Education center to find out what I had to do to return as a tutor this semester.  They will be sending the emails this week for returners I found out.  The cool thing about this is that My history class has a service learning component for extra credit so, I will be getting extra credit on top of the work study pay.  Last semester I just did it for experience not I have additional reasons to do it this year.

  • My thoughts on “An Evening with Malala Yousafzai”

    For those who know me they know that it was here story that inspired me to get the mental help I needed for my Clinical Depression, head back to school to become a teacher and hopefully join the Peace Corp.  So when I heard she was going to be speaking here in Minnesota I was absolutely  thrilled at the chance to see her speak.  I bought my ticket early in June and the had already sold out the cheap seats, that kind of sucked.  That’s ok I figured if I am going to an event like this I want to get close to the front anyways.  I ended up 8 rows back on the left side of the stage, damn close,  that rocked.  The weeks went by and I couldn’t wait.  I had my nephews over the 2 nights prior and was so excited about the upcoming event that I wanted to share her documentary with them, in order for them to understand why this was so exciting for me.  Joey my 14 year old nephew got bored and played his video game.  Mason age 10 watched it with me and was asking questions about her, he really wanted to try and understand, and I did my best to explain things to him about what she went though.  He is such a cute and loving kid.

    Then on July 26th I headed to the Target Center here in Minneapolis to see “An Evening with Malala Yousafzai”.I ended up fighting through traffic, it was busy as hell for a Tuesday going in then I realized that the Twins were playing right next door at Target Field.  Yes, we are the home of target here in Minnesota.   I still made it there with a half hour to spare, which was nice.  As I walk into the arena I see a stage to nice comfy chairs and a little end table.  The back was lit with a blue bubble like lighting.

    IMAG0080[1]
    Image from my seat before the Anyone came out to speak.
    This was the first time I had gone to a speaking engagement.  Let alone go there by myself.  I expected the auditorium to most likely be packed with women of all ages.  The thing that surprised me was how many men were there, it was about a forth of the audience, all different age groups. It looked like a full house.

    Then the interviewer, , came out to give the introduction to Malala.  She talked about her background, which most people who were their most likely know I would assume.

    Next Malala comes out to a standing ovation, I am not a clapper but damn my hands hurt after I sat down and wiped the tears from my eyes.  Yes I am a cryer folks when I am happy,sad, or inspired, But I digress.  After the ovation calmed down she spoke about her thoughts on Minnesota  and what she has experienced while she was her, all the while cracking jokes about how “NICE” we are here in Minnesota.  She talked about the young Somali women she met and what they discussed like how comfortable they feel here and how welcoming we have been to them in Minnesota.

    Malala with Somali women
    This image is from Everything Somali

    The interview begins between Allie Shaw and Malala.  They tackled some of the differences she sees between Pakistan and her current home of England and here in the US.  Malala talked about her experience’s  over the past few years and what she had learned.  Malala knew very little about any other religion except for Islam.  She  had some words to say about religion in politics and compared it, I felt, to the money in politics problems we have here in the states.  It seemed to me she that she felt neither should have a role in politics.  This did not surprise me to much at least the religion, hell she has seen what happens when you mix religion and politics up close and personal.  This is something here in the US are battling ourselves, just not as severe YET.

    The one thing she liked to joke about was her little brothers and they pick on each other.  I remember from the documentary “He Named Me Malala” how lovingly they joked with one another, it was refreshing to see.  She also admitted that she didn’t know that WWE was fake till she was 17.  This took me by off guard at the time but, now that I that I think about it, it really should not have though she has 2 little brothers who probably love wrestling entertainment.  Hell, I like the stuff from time to time when they have decent stories and talent.

    So yes, I was not disappointed with this event at all.  If you get a chance to see Malala Yousefzai you should definitely do so.  Of course this is coming from someone who is a bit of a fan boy.

  • Random Thoughts and Ideas I

    Pokemon GO! is all the craze right now.  How can this game going to help the human race? These are a question that just popped in to my head.  This Go! gets people out there walking which promotes health and good living.  People are meeting new people and immediately have something in common. This promotes community and lowers the fear of the other.

    Here is what I think they should try next.  I would like to see completely different sets of Pokemon for each country, state or continent.  This would get people to start exploring this world more.  This would promote travel.  If they set it up right they could push a cultural exchange through the game as well, with each team having their own team of developers to ensure the pokemon would have the cultural relations to the area. They could have a pokemon dedicated to each sub-culture in that area.   This I know would be a tremendous undertaking.

    This is just one of my crazy ideas to help change this world.  I know that no one Ideas will fix everything in this world.  There is no cure all.  But I feel if we as the human race combine the best of our ideas and build on them that we can make this world better than what it is today.

    While writing this I just realized something about myself. I don’t just want to be a better me, I want to be a better human.  For this is the one thing we have all in common.  This is the starting point of any talk about peace in this world.  This is the most obvious of places to start when talking about any injustice.  Then move down to civilian and authority.  It is time for #civilanlivesmatter.  Here is the thing I agree that the black community has been targeted by the police, in the past and now days.  There is another traditionally targeted group that is not talked about that that is the mentally ill.   This gives the group more people to come over and put more pressure on the our representatives in government.

    We all forget that Government is a tool.  It can be neither good nor evil.  It is all in how we use this tool.  What happens to a tool if you just leave it outside, it rusts and becomes junk.  What happens when you take care other tool and keep it out of the rain, it will last a long time.  This is like our government so many of us have left it out in the rain that it has frozen, locked up.

  • Personal Goals and dreams

    1. Finish college                                                                                                                                                 a. Finish the next 2 semesters                                                                                                             b. Complete the transfer curriculum                                                                                                 c. Transfer to Metro State                                                                                                                     d. Complete my BA in Social Studies Education                                                                             e. Get teaching licence
    2. Join Peace Corp
    3. Make more friends                                                                                                                                       a. Go back to school                                                                                                                                 b. get out to the parks                                                                                                                             c. Volunteer tutor                                                                                                                                     d. Volunteer in general
    4. Get out of the house                                                                                                                                   a. Go back to school                                                                                                                                 b. get out to the parks                                                                                                                             c. Volunteer tutor                                                                                                                                     d. Volunteer in general
    5. Live life
    6. Help others                                                                                                                                                     a. Volunteer tutor                                                                                                                                     b. Volunteer in general
    7. Grow as a person
    8. Clean up my debt
    9. Travel                                                                                                                                                                a.Take the study abroad course Story Telling Down Under                                                           i. Get passport DONE                                                                                                                             ii.Get visa                                                                                                                                                   iii. Join the Peace Corp
    10. Explore other cultures                                                                                                                               a.Take the study abroad course Story Telling Down Under                                                           i. Get passport DONE                                                                                                                            ii.Get visa                                                                                                                                                   iii. Join the Peace Corp
    11. Fight my fears                                                                                                                                              a. Fear that people won’t like me for who I am                                                                           b. Fear of the ocean I don’t want to be shark food.  lol                                                               c. Fear of being alone                                                                                                                             d. Fear of being forgotten                                                                                                                     e. Fear  that I am not strong enough to achieve my goals
    12. Gain self-confidence
    13. Meet Malala Yousafzai
    14. Meet the Dali Lama
    15. Bring people together
    16. Promote Empathy
    17. Promote peaceful solutions to problems
    18. Become a writer
    19. Quit smoking, sugar and caffeine
    20. Cut back on meat and greasy food
    21. Gain knowledge through experience and research
    22. I want to help make this planet safe and a little, not a lot, scary for my niece and nephews than the world we have now.
    23. Organize the random thoughts in my head.
    24. Work on becoming less hypocritical (this is something the whole world especially here in America)
    25. Be more self-reflective
    26. MOST OF ALL BE KIND

    These are some of the things I just a few things I am working on in my own personal development.  This is also a list of things for me to choose to write about in this blog.