JJ's World Views

Tag: Fear

  • Incentives

    Incentives

    It seem that there are many people who believe that money is the only way to incentivise people to be productive members of society.  This is just not true.  Me for instance I am not like that at all.  I am incentivised by helping people and trying to create a better world to live in not just me but for all our sisters and brothers around the world.   The people that think that money is the only incentive I feel have been corrupted by greed.  They project their own desires away from themselves and on to everyone else.  It is a shame that for most of the worlds history this is how the leaders have chosen to incentivise the people. For to me greed brings out the darkest parts of our nature. It fosters hate, fear, war, famine and disease.   It cuts us off from each other, dividing us to the point where we can love one another and bring peace to the world.

    Those who focus on altruism and charity bring light into a society that is filled with grief and despair.  They are the glue that binds us all together and strengthens social bonds.  People like this do not worry about if people like them for themselves and not for what they give others materially.  Looks are dashed for their inner beauty shine through, and people want to be around them for who they are.  These people give with their hearts not their pocket books.  These people see the darkness and do not shy away from what others think or say about them.  This is a constant struggle with temptations and hurdles, which are put in their way.

    Some people have a desire to learn and gain as much knowledge as they can.  This is to help inform and teach the others to become better people as well.  Their are also those who seek knowledge to use against others and gain power over them.  Their hearts are dark with a smidge of light or no light at all.  There are those who are lead by being to discovery, searching out adventure and seeing new things.  Some seek adrenaline to which they skydive and compete in different events.  Some explore the reaches of our minds in order to heal themselves or others.  Others crave physical power over others through fighting or personal physical growth, to feel confident in oneself.

    Many of these incentives overlap with one another.  The people who driven by overlapping incentives can be some of the most balanced of individuals or off centered as well.  It all depends on which of the incentives that guide them.  If someone allows greed and knowledge they may use the power they gain in destructive ways.  Whereas, those who are guided by altruism and knowledge may try to enlighten the population.  Giving of themselves to better the human condition.

    These motivations can be combined in a multitude of ways and used for the betterment of society or it’s demise.  We have to choose for ourselves how we are incentivised and how we would like to use what we have gained.  Whether, it be for selfish or altruistic reasons.  Let me ask you “How do you choose to be Incentivised?”

  • Philosophies of a Humanist

    Philosophies of a Humanist

    As a self proclaimed Humanist  I do not believe in a God or gods.  I believe in the power of humanity in and of itself.  I have been to many churches and they all seemed strange to me, even the Catholic Church in which I was loosely raised in.  The whole sit, stand and kneel ritual was quite irritating along with the sermons and the Bible.  They all just rubbed me the wrong way.  When I got in to my twenties I read the Bible from front to back and the contradictions within it drove me nut as well as the whole lineage stuff.

    It was when I was introduced to Bruce Lee and his philosophy of martial arts  that I started developing my own system of beliefs.  I liked how he took the best parts of other martial arts and combined them together to create Jeet Kune Do.   I liked this and wondered why no one had thought of doing this with religion or faith.  So, over the years I started developing my own philosophies.  I did not just stick to the ideas of religion though I also took from themes within fiction and movies where religion lacked.  I try to live by a code that promotes peace and harmony without being hypocritical to my beliefs like many do with in religion.  Some may think it is naive but I see the world as it is and I aspire to make changes with in myself, so that I may help change the course of humanity in a positive way.

    I strive to eliminate hate from myself, for to hate I feel is to give power to that person or group over me.  This is no easy task.  I may get angry at someone but I will not hate them.  Anger will only last as long as I let it.  I do not hold grudges anymore, for this only hurts me.  It darkens my heart and breeds discontent in those around me.

    I remind myself fear can be both a good and bad thing.  Fear can keep me safe from the dangers of the world.  Remember not to let fear control me, for if I allow it to have control it can hinder my journey through this life and lead to hate.  When fear becomes too strong I must face it by putting myself in uncomfortable situations, this way I understand what I am afraid of, henceforth stifling hate.

    Be kind to those around me.  This is can also be hard to do especially if I am angry.  I am not perfect and will not claim to be.  We all make mistakes so, we must own up to them and learn.

    Love everyone no matter the race, religion, sexual orientation or any other way society deems to separate us.  I have come to the realization that I may not be able to love in a romantic sense,  because my heart is filled with love for all humankind.  I am fine with that.  In some ways it is lonely and I crave the affections of someone but this may hinder me from the mission I have taken on.  I vowed to not be with anyone until I have finished my Bachelor’s Degree that was almost 3 years ago.  I have almost allowed myself to fall back into the old routines, of mistaking sex for romantic love.  I do not wish to do this again.

    I put my heart into my goals.  This is why I think I am so good at being an Educational Assistant and why I will be a good teacher.  I put the kids I work with first, this is how I am.  I want to make sure that children no matter where they are where they are from.

    Do no harm is another principle I try to live by as well.  This means I will make sure to exhaust all methods of nonviolence.  I would rather die than to physically harm someone.

    These are some of the principles I try to live by.  But, I am not perfect and I will never claim to be.  If I do please call me out on it.

  • This Semester

    This has been the hardest semester for me yet. I have been procrastinating too much. In away I have been doing a great job of self sabotage. In a way I  think I do not deserve to get my A.A.  Though I have put in all of the time and work that I need to, maybe even more.  I am less than two months away from finally getting my A.A. in Liberal Arts.  Maybe it is because I fear the success it could bring.  I do not want to let things go to my head.  I like the way I am now in a personal sense, I worry that I will become arrogant because of the success.  As I am now and how I hope I will see myself in the future is that I am just a guy trying to do more for society and not just for myself.

    The class I am doing the worst in right now is Spanish.  At this point I just want to pass the course.  That is the first time I have said that about any of my classes.  My history class I am a bit behind in but, I can make that up no problem.  I have liked all my social science teachers.  Hell, I have a crush on the teacher I had last semester for U.S. history 2.  The current history course I am taking is History of World Civilization 3.  And I have been looking forward to this class for awhile.  The reason for that is I want to try and understand what the more recent history of the middle east is like.  This way I can help to figure out a solution to some of the problems over there.

    Human Geography is another good class I am taking and I am all caught up in.  I only have a presentation, a short essay on urbanization and the final left for that class.  My teacher for this class I had last semester for Physical Geography so I kind of knew what to expect from him.  Then I have my Career Exploration class which helped me to decide to change my Major from Social studies Education to a straight History major.  I am doing this because I do not want to have to narrow of a major and a History B.A. can open a whole lot of doors as I found out.

    The last class is not really a class but a certificate program called Pillar of Leadership.  In this program we go over the different types of leadership but, focus more on the Social Change Model of Leadership.  This is a pretty cool program and is going to look good on my resume.  Though the main reason I am taking this is because I do want to help change the way things are in this world, for the better.

    I guess for me now it is crunch time.  I need to make sure I pass all my classes and by February I will have my A. A. degree in my hands.  Now I just have to find another job because the job I am currently working at is the student store on the Work Study Program.  So, I really do want to start looking for jobs and internships in my field of study.

  • Crying Spells

    It sucks living with depression.  Not only do I sometimes have issues just finding reasons to get up in the morning.  I also have times where I can not stop crying.  This one I am in now has been going on since I gave my speech on Thursday.  I can stop for a while but then it starts back up again.  It doesn’t matter if I am sad, happy, hopeful or cynical I cry for it all it seems.

    This past year has been herd for me.  I have been losing focus and not keeping up with my homework.  I think knowing this is my last semester at Normandale Community College has this affected me.  I have been comfortable there for the most part, though I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone more since I have been there.  I love the teachers and faculty there.  They have been really supportive and caring.   Hell, I am 41 I knew this was coming.  I just didn’t think it would come this soon.  These past 2 1/2 years have gone by so quickly.

    I guess I might fear change a bit but, I know that is how life is and how we grow as people.  I guess I have just gotten so comfortable that it is really hard to do.  Especially, since I have not had a place where I felt I belonged so long before I came to school.

    For the twelve years prior to me heading to school I bounced around a lot about 30 time in that time period.  I have had many jobs, 2 hernia surgeries, married, divorced, and lost my grandfather.  Though we had only met when I was 20 because, of my mom not thinking it was important for me to know them until that time.  She never even told me about them till I was 20 and I had not asked about them just my Biological father.  I remember one time when I was like 15 years old, when I got into it with my dad (the man who raised me) we almost came to blows.  My mom showed me a letter that bio-father had written me.  He told me he loved me and all that jazz in the letter.  To tell you the truth I don’t remember much of what it said because I was stuck in my own little world, after the fight.  I don’t know why my mom didn’t tell me about my grandparents then.  This to me seems like it would have been the best time to do so.  But, she waited.

    It was always nice talking to my grandfather.  We could talk about anything it felt like.  We talked about our lives, politics, religion, ect… I always felt comfortable talking about these topics with him.  Not like now where I sometimes feel my head and ears burning when I talk about them with other members of my family or friends for that matter.  I never felt judged by him or my grandmother.

    It is time now again to start feeling uncomfortable and push myself to do better.  Not just for me but for the world as a whole.  This is my philosophy of life “I want to make myself better in order to better help the world.”  I know this sounds Idealistic but that how I see things.  Do I think I am better than anyone else? Hell, No!  Do I think we are all the same? Once again, Hell, No. We are only the same as it pertains to us being human.  We are all a part of the same family in a sense .  We all have different talents and skills, this is why we are not all the same and why none of us is better than another, at least in my perspective.  There’s only one exception to me thinking I am not better than a person and that is if they see violence as the only solution.  Even then I think some those people can change their thinking.

    We all have the potential to be both good or bad or fall somewhere on the spectrum.  We can all learn from one another if we are willing to put ourselves out there.  We can find inspiration anywhere and everywhere in life.  It is sometimes comes from the most unexpected places.  Look at me I am an Atheist but, I was inspired to go back to school by a young Muslim woman named Malala.  Her courage to stand up to the Taliban gave me hope for the future.  The fact that she is still pushing for Girls to have the right to an education even after she was shot, amazes me.  I just hope and wish I have the same amount of courage she has.

  • Journal Entry 6: My Mind Works in Mysterious Ways

    I have two fears that hinder me and they seem diametrically opposed to one another.  These ar my fear of failure and my fear of success.  The fear of failure I hear a lot of people have.  This is because we have been taught that failure equals loser, in most respects.  When we actually learn more from our failures than our successes.  This I know on a conscious level.  It is the subconscious level that needs the work.  I hate failing, but yet I know that is just a part of life.  I have started working on this by going back to school and building more confidence in myself.  It is my other fear that really stunts my growth, my fear of success.

    I fear success because I am afraid of what I will become if I am successful.  I do not want to be some self center person that doesn’t care about anyone except them selves or the close relatives.  I am not like that though I can some time come off like that, because I an severely introverted and am alone most of the time.  I try to get out to events at school but it is so hard to actually meet and talk to people for me. I hide away in my home wanting to go out and do things like: I wanted to go out to the protest at Standing Rock.  This is and important thing for me.  Standing up for something I believe like access to fresh water, and not having to worry about a pipe busting open, and polluting the entire water supply for mine or any other peoples area.  Yet, I was too afraid to go and kept making excuses, granted having to get to class and working to make sure all my bills are paid is s pretty good one.   I hate going places by myself and I do that all too often now days.

    Sorry I went on a bit of a tangent there.  Basically, I have issues with power whether it is me having it or someone else. Power is something that I feel should be spread evenly amongst the populous. This way we can make our own laws that way we can do away with this what I like to call “a sliding cast system”.  This is a system in which we have different rungs of people like: lower middle, upper and tippy top classes. Which people can move up and down in.  Though it is easier to go down than up.  Then there are very few who can even reach that level and when they do they hoard money to the point it destroys the economy.  Do people really need Monstrous mansions, the most expensive cars and homes all over the world; especially when there are people in this world who have a hard time just feeding their families or to keep a roof over their heads.  We have people making millions maybe even billions killing other for their resources.

    This year I had to read the “White Mans Burden” by Rudyard Kipling.  This is a poem about how us as Americans should take up the mantel of an empire.  Kipling thought that we should because we did not have the history that other countries had in the past like:Britain and the Belgians.  This show how much he really saw things.  We were brutal too the natives, black slaves, Chinese and Irish in this country.  I would say that the past five too six hundred years of history shows how brutal the white man is.  This is coming from a white male.  I do not hate my race, but I acknowledge that this nation has never been great.  Yes we we started the industrial revolution and we were making progress for a while.  But until we recognize what we have done as a country and try to make a mends for that we will never be great.  The true White Man’s Burden is something we did to others and ourselves.  Though many will not admit it.  Those are the ones who think they are better than everyone else.  Those are the same people who promoted slavery in the past, committed mass genocide of the native population in this land.

  • A call for calm

         In this historically trying time where people are scared, angry, and hateful. We must remember who we are as a species. We have a tendency to let our emotions get the better of us. Without really trying to find out what caused these situations. This goes for both sides of the Isle and I admit I have let my emotions get to me as well. We must each take some time to look inside ourselves and do a critical analysis. No one is perfect because there is no such thing as perfection. if there were this would be a pretty dull place. Everyone has their own ideas and opinions but before we go out there and committing acts of violence on one another and before families become so far damaged that they can not be repaired let us take a few minutes to reflect on ourselves. this is something most of us do not do or even know how to do.
              We all feel the pain of our current economy. We are all struggling. This is just like in the 60’s and 70’s when protesters would spit on vets and call them baby killers. Which was wrong.  Just like back then the elitist class with which both Clinton and Trump are a part of are pitting us against ourselves so they can control us with our own fears and hate. Why? Because it is easy to do when we are all distracted with family issues, working long hours, and just trying to get by. it has been like this for thousands of years. There is one thing that is different now than in the past our level of Technology.
           Look at what the possibilities we have the power to change this world for the better if we just have the will to do so.  The rich are not always the smartest people in the world.  Some of them just inherited their wealth, some worked for it and others have stolen it from honest hard-working people.  We give more help to the big corporations that give huge bonuses to their CEOs for maximizing profits by underpaying those they need to run their businesses like: Cashiers, cooks and stock people.  We the citizens of this world need to focus on bring the power to the people.  Not the elites.  We know whats best for us not people who have not spent much time in the failing economy that we are in.  We are the ones with the real power that most of us don’t realize we have.  I do not condone violence in any way.  This is why here in America we have the first Amendment.  As a reminder here it is.  “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion; or prohibition the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, press; or the right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for redress of grievances .”  
         The the right to Peaceably assemble if the right to protest which has been used so much over the Past One Hundred or so years.  Martin Luther King used it to fight the Jim Crow laws and the right to vote as a full human,  Women used it to get the right to vote and to have control of their own bodies, and LGBT used it to get the right to marry.  We now need to use this again so that we may have a fair and free society and to keep the peace.  This is going to be a huge hurdle for us to climb but we can do it if we work together as one.  We must set aside our differences to focus on this goal.  We need to hold our leaders feet to the fire and makesure they are doing what is best for all of us not just the privileged few.
    This is our time to shine and rise to the Occasion.
    We have the power and the brains to make this possible.
    Otherwise this civilisation will go the way so many before have gone and collapse in on itself.
    Peace be with you all 

  • How can we find meaning in a world of chaos?

    I dedicate this to my Brother

    How can we find meaning in a world of chaos?  How do we find happiness in a land of greed and hate?  These are questions I struggle with on a daily basis.  I have been told I think to much. Personally I think those who say that do not think enough.  They are to caught up in their own little world only looking on the surface to frightened to look inside, for fear they may not like what they will see.  The darkness in their own hearts that drains them of humanity.  They are devoid of empathy and compassion for their fellow humans.  Why is this?  A big factor I feel is what we have been taught and the refusal to question it.  I look at the world around us and I see our potential as a species, but I also see the devastation we cause, because of greed.  I try to have hope then it fades, I try to be positive then it is broken.  What can we do to stop this and help ourselves and other to find their true meaning, their true purpose in life.  I know we have to create our meaning and purpose, but why? What then?

    Hope is something I cling to for dear life, because if I don’t it will mean my life.  Fore if I do not have hope then life is not worth living.  Slowly day by day hope slips away leaving an empty shell.  A life dedicated to only making money is not a life I want to live there is no meaning or purpose to it.  Money is worthless till we give it worth, not the other way around.  Why do we allow it to have so much control over our lives?  Why do we let those who have it to have power over us?

    I see those high level bank, big pharma, big agra and fossil fuel executives, wall street shills, venture capitalists and lobbyists as the true throw away people, not the poor.  These are people who could not make it in the real world without destroying others.  There is no need for these types of professions other than to rape and pillage society.  We have been trained to think we need them in reality they need us much, much more.  Necessities like housing, medicine, military, police, food and water should not be for profit.  it is the frivolous thing that can be to a point.  Money is supposed to be in limited supply, but it is not at least not at the top.  The dilemma of the fiat currency is the fact that the obscenely wealthy horde the currency causing inflation.

    Imagine if all the money that the .1%  have was actually in circulation and not sitting in some offshore account.  There would be no need to print any more money for a long time.  The world economy would stabilize there would really be no need for charities as they are now.  More people would be able to donate time instead of money.  There would be less discontent and war.  People would be happier and fear would start to fade, because people could travel more and experience new things and meet new people. Instead, of  being inside hiding from the cruel reality that is this life at the moment.   Then we could actually find the answers to the questions I have asked.

  • Personal Goals and dreams

    1. Finish college                                                                                                                                                 a. Finish the next 2 semesters                                                                                                             b. Complete the transfer curriculum                                                                                                 c. Transfer to Metro State                                                                                                                     d. Complete my BA in Social Studies Education                                                                             e. Get teaching licence
    2. Join Peace Corp
    3. Make more friends                                                                                                                                       a. Go back to school                                                                                                                                 b. get out to the parks                                                                                                                             c. Volunteer tutor                                                                                                                                     d. Volunteer in general
    4. Get out of the house                                                                                                                                   a. Go back to school                                                                                                                                 b. get out to the parks                                                                                                                             c. Volunteer tutor                                                                                                                                     d. Volunteer in general
    5. Live life
    6. Help others                                                                                                                                                     a. Volunteer tutor                                                                                                                                     b. Volunteer in general
    7. Grow as a person
    8. Clean up my debt
    9. Travel                                                                                                                                                                a.Take the study abroad course Story Telling Down Under                                                           i. Get passport DONE                                                                                                                             ii.Get visa                                                                                                                                                   iii. Join the Peace Corp
    10. Explore other cultures                                                                                                                               a.Take the study abroad course Story Telling Down Under                                                           i. Get passport DONE                                                                                                                            ii.Get visa                                                                                                                                                   iii. Join the Peace Corp
    11. Fight my fears                                                                                                                                              a. Fear that people won’t like me for who I am                                                                           b. Fear of the ocean I don’t want to be shark food.  lol                                                               c. Fear of being alone                                                                                                                             d. Fear of being forgotten                                                                                                                     e. Fear  that I am not strong enough to achieve my goals
    12. Gain self-confidence
    13. Meet Malala Yousafzai
    14. Meet the Dali Lama
    15. Bring people together
    16. Promote Empathy
    17. Promote peaceful solutions to problems
    18. Become a writer
    19. Quit smoking, sugar and caffeine
    20. Cut back on meat and greasy food
    21. Gain knowledge through experience and research
    22. I want to help make this planet safe and a little, not a lot, scary for my niece and nephews than the world we have now.
    23. Organize the random thoughts in my head.
    24. Work on becoming less hypocritical (this is something the whole world especially here in America)
    25. Be more self-reflective
    26. MOST OF ALL BE KIND

    These are some of the things I just a few things I am working on in my own personal development.  This is also a list of things for me to choose to write about in this blog.